The need of the hour, especially in this modern era of liberalization among women, is to teach the younger generation about the delicate subject, "Sex". It is necessary to teach children progressively all important subjects such as love, marriage and sex. The seriousness involved in these subjects is the bold and delicate angel who requires emphasis and explanation. Many scholars discussed sex in their books through rare stories, witticisms, and jokes. The mode of, narration, transformation and explanation may be considered immoral by the present society. The most important aspect is to take children into confidence and hold healthy conversation and discussions as deem fit. Furthermore, holding value based debate and encouraging meaningful dialogues among all will pave the way to a perfect relationship between parents and children. The desirable results can be achieved if all of us understand clearly and distinctly the meaning and definition of these words, both literally and structurally. It is, therefore, appreciable to analyse logically and understand comprehensively the meaning and definitions of "Love, Marriage and Sex". The requirements gather strength in the light of social and cultural obligations affecting present generation globally. All vested interests have exploited and drastically influenced them. Therefore, we must distinctly and clearly understand its literal and structural meaning and definition.
Richard Garlikov says, "The Meaning of Love offers and explains a definition of love in a way that is interesting, intense, clear, logical, and meaningful". He further says that love consists of three things:
(I) Emotions: how we are feeling about each other.
(II) Ethics: how good or bad we are for each other.
(III) Joys: how much we satisfy or dissatisfy each other.
Allah says in Quran in chapter Aal-e-Imran [3:14] "Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet: women and sons; heaped-up hoards of gold and silver; horses branded (for blood and excellence); (wealth of) cattle and well-tilled land. Such are the possessions of this world's life; but in nearness to Allah is the best of the goals (to return to)."
The attachments and desires are part of our being, hence it is the natural inclination to get involved and yearn to achieve it. The attachment to materialism is virtual love, whereas nearness to Allah is absolute love. When you are nearer to Allah then emotions play a positive role emptying materialistic attachments. Consequently, ethics become the path to follow. In the end, joy filled the hearts and that is called knowledge. (In Arabic it is called Ma' Arifat)
Marriage is defined as an institution where two known or unknown persons are united in wedlock according to their respective faith, cultures and traditions. It is also a contractual agreement between a man and a woman to be followed both in action and deeds. Allah says in Quran in chapter Al-Furqan [25:54], "It is He Who has created man from water: (He) then has established relationships of lineage and marriage: for thy Lord has the power (over all things).
Reverend T. S. Deacon Economos says, "Traditionally there are two major reasons for marriage. Marriage provides society with the guarantee for the structured perpetuation of the human species and the assurance of some security for the caring of the offspring of that marriage."
A famous anti marriage author, who is now happily married, says that Marriage adapts, evolves and (in a manner that I find miraculous and kind of inspiring) somehow keeps chugging along.
Analysing the institution of marriage reveals that this is a sacred institution requires both the partners to be accommodative and sharing each other's sorrows and happiness collectively. The whispers in ears should be restricted within the four walls of their bedroom; otherwise it will become public property leading to embarrassments, chaos and confusion. The most important point is the honesty displayed by both partners. The dignity of family should be maintained in earnestness. The relationship which is based on cheating, deception and lies will become a nuisance. Hence, transparency is required to tide over insignificant issued in day to day life.
Sex is defined as anything connected with sexual gratification or reproduction or the urge, for these especially, the attraction of those of one sex for those of the other. It is also a biological need and a physical urge between two persons (either same or opposite sex). The involvement of two persons in sexual activity is subject to its legality with religious, social and cultural bondage. All religions and ethical bondage are prohibiting of having sexual activity outside these limits. Allah says in Holy Quran in Surah Al Rum 30:21,"And among His signs is this, that He created for your mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between Your hearts: verily, in those are signs for those who reflect". Educating children at home about sex at a right age of puberty will make them learn sex in a decent way. Otherwise, they will learn it in their own circle in a lust oriented fashion..
The total integral values covering all aspects of love, marriage and sex determine the morality, sanctity and human values. The responsibility of parents commences with the birth of the child and advances progressively as the children grow. The society equally plays an important role, providing favourable environments in shaping the younger generation's character. Then an individual becomes matured and sensible realizing his social, ethical and moral duties and fulfil the obligation expected of him/her. The teaching and guidance from childhood until his maturity will make him or her understand the importance and sanctity of love, marriage and sex. If we, as parents and society representatives, failed to act at the appropriate time and in the right directions, then we create a menace to humanity. Thus, the human will turn into an animal, and lives become insignificant in their eyes. At this crucial juncture, healthy dialogue and meaningful discussion will possibly change the scenario favourably. It is necessary to have confidence in children so that they openly discuss their difficulties in terms of their private or professional life.
Capt.Ehtesham Mirza
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